(Minghui.org) This is my tenth year practicing Dafa. During these ten years, I have realized that the true meaning of cultivation is walking on the path of returning to my true nature. I now know how to align myself with the principles of Dafa. I’d like to share my cultivation experiences over the past three years with fellow practitioners.
Letting Go of a Million-Yuan Property
The community where my parents-in-law lived was to be demolished in 2013 or 2014. So my father-in-law spent over one million yuan for a three-bedroom apartment in the best location in a community close to where my husband’s brother Wei lived. However, my parents-in-law never moved into the new apartment because their community was not demolished in the end.
When I visited my parents-in-law one day, my mother-in-law told me that they had been to Wei’s new apartment. At first, I didn’t know what she meant, so she repeated it. It turned out that my parents-in-law, without our knowledge, had asked Wei and his wife to decorate the new apartment. My husband was in the living room at that time, and got angry upon hearing this and asked how we could possibly sell it after decorating it. His immediate thought was to sell it. Alas, he didn’t know that his parents had already given the apartment to his brother Wei. After learning this fact, my husband got very angry and left immediately. He refused to speak to his parents for over seven months. He even refused to visit his parents during the Chinese New Year holiday, and didn’t want me to visit them either. His uncle and aunts suggested that I not visit my parents-in-law. But I thought it was inappropriate to not visit them during the holiday. So I went, and my husband went with me, but he refused to enter by himself. He waited for me outside, and we went in together.
When we first learned that the apartment had been given to Wei, I also felt it was unfair. I thought, “Why are they treating us so unfairly? At the very least, they should have informed us. Besides, Wei’s wife has a good job with a good annual salary, yet my parents-in-law bought them the three-bedroom apartment they currently live in. Wei also has a two-bedroom apartment that they rent out, while the apartment we live in was purchased by us getting a loan.” My parents-in-law’s favoritism was well-known among everyone in the extended family.
Prior to this situation, my parents-in-law were reluctant to let Wei spend any money on them. No matter what happened at home, Wei did not contribute any money. My mother-in-law gave Wei 500 yuan in 2008 and asked him to book a table for her birthday, but he ended up getting the date wrong. So my mother-in-law asked me to take over. I took charge of booking the tables and cakes for birthdays for both of my parents-in-law starting in 2009, and we would go out together to have dinner to celebrate their events. In general, our extended family had spoken highly of me, since I followed Dafa’s principles and did as Master requires. I treated everyone in this extended family kindly, and I contributed financially and physically when needed.
As the months passed, my husband’s resentment about the apartment remained unresolved. My parents-in-law might have known that they didn’t handle it correctly but were afraid to touch that sensitive nerve in my husband, so they avoided talking about the apartment in front of my husband. I knew that the situation should not remain like this, and I decided to find a solution. I had a heartfelt conversation with my parents-in-law, looking at the situation from their perspective and respecting their wishes. Knowing my husband’s condition, my parents-in-law might have thought it over more. My father-in-law suggested taking the apartment back and notarizing it, but I pointed out that it had already been decorated, and if we were to do what my father-in-law suggested, we would just exacerbate the conflict, which is not appropriate. I told my parents-in-law that I was willing to yield the property to Wei, and they didn’t need to worry about us. We later learned that it was Wei’s wife who liked the apartment and took the initiative to decorate the property.
I kept persuading my husband to prioritize family harmony, and to give the property to Wei. Despite this, my husband still had a grudge against his father, but was gradually able to let it go.
Being Kind to My Mother-in-Law Regardless of Her Behavior
My mother-in-law has a good profession, as she is a doctor. When my husband and I were newly married, I had a great deal of respect for my in-laws. However, I later found that many of my mother-in-law’s habits were quite incomprehensible. It was not initially apparent because we did not live together. When our child was one-and-a-half years old, my husband had to go study out of town for a year. Since our child was too little and my parents were not local, my husband asked me to stay with his parents.
I was surprised by my mother-in-law’s behavior after my husband left. Every day after she came home, she had a gloomy expression, and would lie down on the sofa as soon as she entered the apartment. She did not do anything, no cooking in the kitchen and no looking after our child, which was completely unexpected. The environment I grew up in was not like that, and my parents were not like that. I believed that when a family lived together, they should take care of each other. Since I lived with them, I took on the responsibility of preparing lunch and dinner, buying groceries, and washing dishes, to avoid causing them any trouble. I wondered how it could become like that.
I later realized that my mother-in-law felt that having me and the child stay with her disturbed her quiet life, and she didn’t want us living there. Her demeanor made me feel great displeasure, and I really wanted to leave with the child. However, something happened next that made it impossible for me to leave.
My husband’s grandmother, who was in her 80s, fell and broke her leg. The family immediately brought her to her son (my father-in-law)’s home after I had been living with them for two months. Now the home was even more unsettled. The elderly grandmother, who suffered from dementia, was in pain and kept moaning. This only made my mother-in-law even more annoyed, and her face grew even longer. Seeing all this, I thought that only by silently taking care of everything at home and sharing some responsibilities with my father-in-law could I alleviate the conflicts.
I needed to consider the overall situation and do whatever I could to help. So, every day I cooked meals and served them in bowls, and I let my husband’s sister feed her grandmother. My mother-in-law didn’t offer to help take care of grandmother, nor did she inquire about her condition. She sometimes even cursed her, wishing she would die. My mother-in-law’s actions greatly diminished her position in my eyes, and I felt that her behavior was incompatible with her profession as a doctor, so I felt no goodwill toward her. I sometimes couldn’t help but get angry, and when my husband came back, I had a big fight with him to vent my anger.
Another time, I saw a pretty dark red rabbit fur sweater and bought it for my mother-in-law. Perhaps it wasn’t the type she wanted, as she made some hurtful remarks, saying, “Don’t buy me clothes in the future, we have different tastes.” I didn’t say anything, but I was angry inside. I thought, “I wasn’t even willing to buy such a beautiful piece for myself, and here I was buying it for her, only to hear such hurtful words. I won’t buy her clothes again.” However, she ended up wearing that sweater every day. Although I had sworn I would no longer buy clothes for her, all the nice clothes she wore were from me.
Before cultivating Dafa, I got angry whenever I thought about these incidents. However, since cultivating Dafa, I became able to calmly let them go, without harboring resentment.
I kept in mind what Master teaches us:
“...each is conducting himself in such a way that he requires himself to be a good person, a better person.” (“Teachings at the Conference in the Western U.S.”)
If it weren’t for Master’s teachings, I wouldn’t have let it go.
My Father-in-Law Finally Quit the CCP
My father-in-law was a very nice person, but he had been brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) atheistic doctrines and did not believe in Dafa. After I learned the importance of quitting the CCP, I clarified the truth to them. When I explained it to my mother-in-law, she quit the CCP, but my father-in-law did not accept it and he occasionally got angry at me. I maintained my xinxing, treated them with kindness, and I visited them almost every week, buying them their favorite foods, clothes, daily necessities, and so on. At the end of every summer, I cleaned their air conditioner, and packed and stored it away neatly for the next year. The next summer, I took it out, cleaned away the dust, and put it to work. My mother-in-law has been very good to me over the years. She read the truth-clarifying materials I gave her, and I bought her a player so she could listen to Master’s teachings. That’s why she’s been in good health.
My father-in-law suddenly had a high fever and was diagnosed with COVID one day in May of 2023, when he was in his 80s. He was given intravenous fluids in the hospital for several days, and he improved slightly, but he couldn’t eat. On the nineth day, the high fever returned, and at the same time, his gout flared up, causing his feet to swell and making it impossible for him to walk. Seeing all this, I couldn’t help but cry. I sincerely advised him to recite, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and told him that those phrases had life-saving properties. This time he agreed, and I asked Master to save him. Immediately after that, he broke out in a cold sweat, and the fever disappeared. I helped him put on his clothes and sit on the sofa. I said, “Let’s listen to Master’s teachings.” He agreed. At that moment, in the face of life-and-death, everyone has a will to survive, and he understood what could save his life.
Thank you, Master! Cultivating Dafa is truly great!
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