(Minghui.org) I was in my 20s when I started practicing Falun Dafa. I was deeply moved by Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.
I would say that I excel as a good student and am pretty capable. After I started practicing, Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) tempered me. My circumstances in life resulted in my being relatively gentle, and I rarely had conflicts with others. As a result, my jealousy was always hidden.
Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy
Some time ago, a practitioner joined our Fa study group whose work background was similar to mine. She doesn’t talk much and has a unique personality. Everyone thinks she is a bit strange. Everyone was sharing their understandings one day after studying the Fa. When I spoke, this practitioner contradicted me, and if I said something else, she contradicted me again. The situation was a bit awkward, so I stopped speaking. A practitioner later asked me if I was uneasy about her. I said that her opinions also made sense.
I looked within and found that I had attachments to competitiveness, saving face, and showing off. But I was not aware of my attachment to jealousy.
When we were studying the Fa together after that incident, she and I didn’t speak or look at each other. Some practitioners noticed the awkwardness between us and reminded me to cultivate my xinxing.
After some time, I started to overcome a lot of competitiveness, the attachment to saving face, and showing off, but they were still there. I knew I hadn’t found their roots yet. I carefully traced the origin of my every thought, and Master revealed to me that it was jealousy. I was shocked when I realized this. After so many years of practice, I always thought that my jealousy was minimal. This was the first time I felt a clear presence of jealousy.
I sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve the jealousy in my dimensional field. Jealousy is very stubborn and goes away layer by layer. One day, I suddenly thought of a Klein bottle, which has no inside or outside and has unlimited capacity.
I realized that in the past my cultivation was always about expanding my capacity and mind, but there were always boundaries. If the boundaries are removed, there will be no concept of capacity or mind, and everything can be accommodated. I understand that this boundary is selfishness, and jealousy is a typical representation of selfishness.
Once I saw this clearly, I eliminated the jealousy very quickly. One day when I was looking inward, I suddenly felt a twisting pain in my stomach. I knew it was Master helping me to pull out the root of jealousy in another dimension. When the pain receded, everything seemed to have changed. For example, when I thought about the practitioner who made me feel awkward, I now thought she was quite nice. Later, she asked me of how to install a computer operating system, and I taught her the best way to do it. We communicated peacefully without issue.
Cultivating Oneself While Feeling Uneasy
Master used the word “uneasy” seven times while discussing jealousy in Zhuan Falun. Whenever one feels uneasy about something, one is able to find jealousy hidden beneath it.
I was assigned to take over a colleague’s work last year after he retired. He had done less and less in the years leading up to his retirement and accumulated a lot of unfinished work. For more than half a year, I was busy with my original job while sorting out this colleague’s work. When I was tired, I started to feel a little uneasy. I could recognize the uneasiness and get rid of it quickly.
A colleague said, “You are so serious, and so busy. It’s unsustainable.” Another one said, “You won’t get a pay raise no matter how hard you work. Don’t be a fool.” I smiled and replied that I was different from him. I have faith and I have to be serious and responsible when doing things.
I know that my words and deeds are part of clarifying the truth, and everyone is watching. If I don’t do it well, it will sully Dafa’s image; if I do it well, it will validate the Fa.
A former adminstrator once told me, “You are excellent in all aspects. Over the years, I have not heard anyone say anything bad about you. Your ability and character are first-class. If it weren’t for your practicing Falun Gong...” I stopped him and said, “Faith is not a slogan. I use my words and deeds to practice Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.”
I was busy like this for more than half a year, and my work was sorted out. During this process, Master was watching over me. When help was needed, many people were arranged to come to me. When I didn’t know how to progress at work, Master gave me wisdom. I understand that when uneasiness occurs in cultivation, it means that one is going against the laws of the universe. I needed to correct myself, remove the “uneasy” factors, and live according to the laws of the universe.
Feeling Happy for Others
Master said:
“The two mentalities will produce different results. It can evoke one’s jealousy, for if someone is doing well, instead of feeling happy for him or her, people will feel uncomfortable. It can lead to this problem.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
The moral decline in intellectual circles is obvious now, and everyone is trying to get ahead to gain professional titles and ranks. In the past, I looked down on people who liked to brag, and thought they had poor character. If my colleagues who were less capable than me accomplished big achievements at work, got promoted, etc., I mostly ignored them.
My colleagues often ask me academic questions and I always respond to them. However, in the past, I answered with reservations because of selfish motives. When I later discovered my jealousy, I had to get rid of it and truly be considerate. I now tell them my opinions without reservation.
I no longer pay attention to whether their articles include me as a co-author, or whether I am involved in a project. I realized the profound meaning of “being happy for others” and the power of compassion.
Humility and Gratitude
The old forces use various methods to make us self-righteous and inflate our selfishness. It is Master who saved us. Everything we have is given by Master, including life. We have no right to judge any life, even if we were once the lords of a very high realm of heaven and oversaw all sentient beings there. That right is also the scepter given to us by the Creator. Without Master, we are nothing. As lives formed by Dafa, we can only be humble and grateful to Master and Dafa.
I have been practicing cultivation for more than 20 years, and I am still far away from meeting the standards of Dafa. I cannot express my gratitude enough to Master. Thank you, Master!
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Category: Improving Oneself
